How I Feel Sometimes When Someone Tells Me To Do Something

Wally: [Driving a car despite the fact he is completely blind.] How am I doin?

Dave: Don’t look at me! Watch the road!

Wally: Oh! If it’ll make you feel better.

– See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989)

The Frog Has A Point

You can discern many things about the nature of a man by how he responds when things do not go his way.

– Hanyi, Wilde Life

Because I Quote This A Lot And Was Genuinely Surprised That I’d Never Recorded It Here

You don’t know impatient until you’re a monkey waiting for a donut.

– Curious George

My Life Would Be VERY Different If That Were True

Robert A. Heinlein went on record that he felt the phrase, “All’s fair in love and war” was a “contemptable lie.” Along those same lines, I also put into the “contemptable lie” category the phrase, “If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

“I Wonder If The Watermelon Is Still Good?” I Asked Myself Today

Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: ‘I’m saving food!’ Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: ‘I’m saving my life!’

– George Carlin

I Think About This Quote A Lot Some Days

There’s something so human about taking something great and ruining it a little so that you can have more of it.

– Michael, The Good Place

That’s Putting It Mildly

Although circumstances may change in the blink of an eye, people change at a slower pace. Even motivated people who welcome change often encounter stumbling blocks that make transformation more complicated than they’d originally anticipated.

– Amy Morin

Another Pratchett Quote (Because It Gave Me Some Peace)

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

– Terry Pratchett

Then Presumably I’ll Have Time Enough For Some Warning

“Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out,” said the shopkeeper. “That’s what I’ve always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person.”

– Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic

This Still Makes Me Laugh . . . Because I’ve BEEN There

That’s funny . . . they were around here somewhere . . .

• Linus van Pelt to his sister Lucy after claiming that he had just seen two exactly alike snowflakes in a snowstorm.