Posts Tagged ‘Really?’

So Yeah . . . I Know

February 20, 2018

Okay . . . take two.

As I mentioned, I was traveling when the Stoneman Douglas shooting happened, but I certainly heard about it.  On the way back home I even got the chance to see where it happened, and the how of that is why I was extra angry.

Turnpike traffic was bad due to accidents, you see, so L’s Mother was using GPS to direct me to an alternate route.  Traffic was still slow and congested, but it was moving, so I was content right up until the point when L’s Mother said, “We’re coming up on Stoneman Douglas.”

Neither of us ever having taken this particular route before, I was perplexed.  “How could you possibly know that?” I asked her.

“Google is ‘helpfully’ marking it on the map with a big flashing red dot,” she sighed.

“What!?” I exclaimed.  “Why?”

“Because it’s in the news, I guess.”

That would have been bad enough, but at this point a nasty thought struck me.  Was the slowdown on this route because people were rubbernecking?

Now I don’t know that was the case, but I can confirm that you could see Stoneman Douglas from the road, and the slowdown ended the moment we were passed the building.

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I Know There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute, But This Is Just Abusing The Privilege

August 1, 2017

Radio Announcer:  *breathlessly*  Remember, if you start to burn fat TOO quickly while using our product, be sure to reduce the dosage!

Me:  And yes, it IS customary for you to include a gratuity with your payment, thank you for asking.  Your order, as well as your complimentary bridge, is ON ITS WAY!

Some People Can Read Too Much Into Anything

June 28, 2017

Unsafe food consumption and peer pressure, an analysis of Green Eggs and Ham.

(This is perilously close to something I actually read the other day . . .)