Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Now If I Ever Called Her Miss Piggy, On The Other Hand, I Might Actually Find Myself In A World Of Hurt

September 10, 2020

I’m always perplexed when (as I did with yesterday’s post) I get a response with some variation on the “I’ll bet she didn’t like that you said that!” theme, so here are a couple of quick points:

#1. I would never knowingly post something involving L’s Mother that she didn’t approve of.

#2. I’ve got a pretty good feel on what she finds funny and what she doesn’t, and her response to what I said yesterday was a giggle and a proud “I’m a Muppet!”.

#3. Even if she didn’t like it, what’s she going to do to me? She’s only got those little felt arms . . .

A Question I Didn’t Realize I Knew The Answer To

September 9, 2020

With five minutes to go before her meeting started, L’s Mother came out this morning proclaiming in a fake panic that she didn’t have tea, or snacks, or “anything,” and the whole display reminded me of something, but I didn’t want to verbalize it.

Evidently though, L’s Mother picked up on it too, because she then launched into a credible imitation of Kermit the Frog flailing his arms in excitement, and then I had to say it:

“If I’m ever asked, ‘Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be married to a Muppet?”, I can truthfully say that I don’t have to wonder.”

Full Disclosure

August 26, 2020

I know it’s silly to say this, but I wanted to make it clear that what I posted yesterday, while containing the important essence of what I said to L’s Mother, were not my exact words to her. When you’ve spent as many years together as she and I have, you develop a lot of private linguistic shortcuts that would mean something very different if said to anyone else.

So, yeah, not my exact words, but that was the message that was conveyed.

And That’s No Joke

August 11, 2020

Recently I realized that I’ve reached the point where I can watch someone’s stand-up routine about the inequities of their relationship and think, “Even accounting for exaggeration for comedic effect, I hope they realize they’re in a dysfunctional relationship.”

It’s Actually Worrying How Often This Sort Of Thing Comes Up As A “Relationship Problem” In Fiction

April 22, 2020

L’s Mother and I disagree on a number of points (for example, when the appropriate time to toss out old foodstuff is), but you know what we don’t disagree on?

That being forced to participate in a gladiatorial cage match to the death is always a valid excuse for being late to an important dinner no matter how important the dinner.

When You Get Outjoked On Your Own Joke At The Worst Possible Time

April 8, 2020

Yesterday I noticed in passing that L’s Mother was wearing socks, so naturally I wandered over to her and said, “Hey there, socksy.”  (And if you don’t like the humor, I will remind you that you were not in the room I was playing to, because L’s Mother responded with a big smile and a childishly proud, “I’m socksy!”)

Later that evening during a more private moment between the two of us, for some reason I felt the need to point out that she was no longer wearing socks, prompting her to pout like a child and proclaim, “I am no longer socksy.”


I’m Kidding, But I DID Amuse Myself For A Bit By Asking Where That Voice Was Coming From When She Tried Talking To Me Right After That

March 19, 2020

“Just handle the situation the way you would as if I weren’t around at all,” L’s mother told me the other day.

So I ignored it.

I’ve Been Struggling With That My Whole Life, Which Includes The Entire Time She’s Known Me

September 5, 2019

Last night L’s Mother had an ephipheny.  I’d just finished saying that I needed someone (not her) to stop telling me that I was going to react in a certain way, because it was only making me defensive and therefore less likely that I would react in the way they wanted, when L’s Mother looked at me and said, “I just realized something; you are innately defiant!”.

I have to admit, her saying that to me shook me to my very core.  “You mean you just figured that out now?” I asked in genuine utter disbelief.

My Exact Response Was A Horrified “Oh, God!”

April 29, 2019

L’s Mother hurt her eye a few days back, not badly, but it looked horrible, more red than any other color, particularly the next day.  So much so that I had already admitted to her that I found the sight of it disturbing.

This is perhaps a weakness I should not have drawn attention to.

The next morning (early enough that I wasn’t even thinking about her eye yet) she came into my office wearing a red and white sundress, and proclaimed, “You never complement me when I wear something that matches my eyes anymore!”.

But It Made Me Smile On A Day I TRULY Needed A Smile

September 18, 2018

(Another paraphrased encounter with L’s Mother.)

“Since you said you were going to wait until your foot was better to move the trampoline, I was going to move it for you,” she told me this morning.  “Then I realized if I could move it, you could move it, and you probably meant you were waiting to move it until you could use it again.”

She was right too.