Posts Tagged ‘Self Awareness’

I’ve Been Struggling With That My Whole Life, Which Includes The Entire Time She’s Known Me

September 5, 2019

Last night L’s Mother had an ephipheny.  I’d just finished saying that I needed someone (not her) to stop telling me that I was going to react in a certain way, because it was only making me defensive and therefore less likely that I would react in the way they wanted, when L’s Mother looked at me and said, “I just realized something; you are innately defiant!”.

I have to admit, her saying that to me shook me to my very core.  “You mean you just figured that out now?” I asked in genuine utter disbelief.

You Learn Other Things As Well, Of Course

September 4, 2019

Babies are on my mind today (and, let me be clear, not because one is coming to this house), and children really are amazing creatures.  If you want to learn things about yourself that you never wanted to learn, raising a child is an intensive course in that subject.

It Just Confused Them When I Was Ten

May 8, 2019

With my birthday approaching (and having reviewed my last few entries here), I am pleased (in a backhanded sort of way) that I’m finally getting old enough for people to expect me to be as crotchety as I am.

Life Can Be Funny That Way Sometimes

September 13, 2018

Come to think of it, something else the recent work on the house is for me is an opportunity to observe how I currently respond to various stressors such as noise, random schedule changes, delays, etc.

I’d be snarkier about this, but I’ve actually learned some things about myself . . .

Open Necessity, Insert Foot

September 5, 2018

So after two solid days of necessary work, my foot is telling me today is a good day to let it heal some more.

I think I’ll listen to it.

A Paraphrase Of Part Of My Conversation With Mom Last Night

August 17, 2018

Even as a kid I really did try to not just dig my heels in from pure obstinance, but . . . once it was made to clear to me that I was in a no-win situation, I would always chose how I was going to lose.  Always.

I still do that, in fact, but I like to think that these days I do it with more awareness, at least.

Usually To Keep It In Check . . . Usually

July 3, 2018

Some people listen to music when they’re feeling their age; lately I’ve realized that I listen to music when I’m feeling my rage.

And While That HAS Happened, I’ve Found My Follow-Ups Need To Done When I’m Prepared To Deal With That NOT Being The Answer

June 26, 2018

The other day L’s Mother asked me if I was going to follow-up on something today, and I told her no, but I likely would on Wednesday.

“Why not Tuesday?” she asked.

“Because,” I answered, “I know what my Tuesday is already looking like, and I won’t be prepared until Wednesday at the earliest for the answer to be anything but “Yes sir, that’s already been taken care of; sorry for not telling you sooner.”

Today’s Practice: Be A Better Friend To Myself

January 15, 2018

Things you say to your friends:  “Of course you’re having trouble focusing, you still have a touch of the flu!”

Things all too easy to say to yourself:  “Come on!  What’s wrong with you today?!”

The “Olfactory” Of The Matter, You Might Say

September 28, 2017

Today I find myself vaguely amused at the disparity in how my Tuesday entry (which I got a variety of positive feedback regarding) was received when compared to my Wednesday entry (which went without any responses whatsoever).  I wasn’t surprised by this though.  Tuesday’s entry was deliberately positive and pithy, but I knew there was a point that could be easily overlooked, hence Wednesday’s entry.

To spell it out, to me the important part of Tuesday’s entry was “what you believe about yourself, true or not, will have the greatest effect on you.”  I’ve known wonderful people who had been convinced they were terrible people, and I’ve also known people who, if they had even an ounce of talent, they kept it hidden extremely well, but their belief in their own non-evident greatness could sustain them through anything.  It’s just . . . impressive how much belief can affect a person.

But knowing the truth about yourself will serve you better in the long run, and the fact of the matter is that sometimes the truth stinks, but it’s better to be able to smell it because otherwise you won’t know you need to change.