Time To Find Some New Tricks

I’ve never really counted, but I’m pretty sure I easily have dozens of methods and tricks to help me with motivation and focus.

Today not even a single one of them has worked yet.

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I’m Off To A Good Start

This year I resolve to have more calories, more sweets, more self-indulgence, and more self honesty.

Of Course It’s Still Early Yet

For someone so dedicated to the concept of “if you can’t make it better, at least don’t make it worse,” I have a lousy track record, particularly as a parent.  On the plus side though, I have managed over time to gradually increase my number of successes, and this morning was one of those all too rare successes.

That Just Wouldn’t Work

Yesterday it came up in conversation that someone Lala knows makes it a habit to say “I love you,” to all her friends.

“I couldn’t do that,” I admitted.

“Why not?” Lala asked.

“Put simply,” I replied, “because by my definition of love, I don’t love all my friends.  Some I do, but some I just like, and I’m there for all of them whenever I can be because that’s what friendship is to me, but love them all I do not.”

Lala seemed kind of saddened by this, and it’s not like I consider it ideal myself, but that’s the honest truth of the matter.  I would like it someday if I could be the type of person who genuinely loves everyone, but I’m never going to get to be that person by lying about it.

Life Can Be Funny That Way Sometimes

Come to think of it, something else the recent work on the house is for me is an opportunity to observe how I currently respond to various stressors such as noise, random schedule changes, delays, etc.

I’d be snarkier about this, but I’ve actually learned some things about myself . . .

A Paraphrase Of Part Of My Conversation With Mom Last Night

Even as a kid I really did try to not just dig my heels in from pure obstinance, but . . . once it was made to clear to me that I was in a no-win situation, I would always chose how I was going to lose.  Always.

I still do that, in fact, but I like to think that these days I do it with more awareness, at least.

I Have A New Project

This morning I expressed the desire to have a day of “indulgence” despite the fact today was not a day for something like that.  Despite that, I was asked what kind of day I’d want if it was a day for that.

After rattling off a few (ahem) variations of “spend even more time in bed,” I’d gotten as far what I’d want for breakfast . . . but then I trailed off.

“Go on!” I was encouraged.  “What would you want to do after that?”

“I don’t honestly know!” I conceded with a laugh.  “I’ve never gotten this far before, not even in theory!”

Usually To Keep It In Check . . . Usually

Some people listen to music when they’re feeling their age; lately I’ve realized that I listen to music when I’m feeling my rage.

And While That HAS Happened, I’ve Found My Follow-Ups Need To Done When I’m Prepared To Deal With That NOT Being The Answer

The other day L’s Mother asked me if I was going to follow-up on something today, and I told her no, but I likely would on Wednesday.

“Why not Tuesday?” she asked.

“Because,” I answered, “I know what my Tuesday is already looking like, and I won’t be prepared until Wednesday at the earliest for the answer to be anything but “Yes sir, that’s already been taken care of; sorry for not telling you sooner.”

And I’ve Probably Imagined Multiple Ways It Could Happen

One of my more useful traits is also one of my most personally distressing.  When other people ask things like, “Can you even imagine something like that happening?”, my answer is always “Yes . . . yes, I can.”