“Now that it’s time to say goodnight, there’s something I’ve been meaning to share with you, but I didn’t want to ruin the mood of the evening,” L’s Mother told me last night.
“Okaaaay,” I said, doing my best to brace myself.
“If you think about it, there’s got to be at least one couple out there somewhere who has roleplayed Doctor Honeydew and Beaker in a . . . you know . . .”
“Thank you for not ruing the mood of the evening!” I quickly interjected.
My friend: Okay, so you know how the Earth is rotating at a high rate of speed, and that means we are all moving along with it. Then factor in how the Earth is orbiting the Sun at an even higher rate of speed, and that we’re also moving at that speed along with it at the same time. Now keep in mind that our solar system is rotating along with our galaxy at an even higher rate of speed, and even if we stop there that leaves of us moving at high speeds in three different directions at once even when we’re sitting still . . . but it’s probably not a good idea to tune into that concept.
Me: *promptly tunes into that concept*
“Based on your viewing interests, we thought you might like this,” I read online yesterday.
It was a shirt of a type I’ve never looked at before being worn by a female model of a type that I have looked at before.
Yesterday went fine, by the way. The only thing is I woke up today feeling like I’d had one too many banana daiquiris with a bunch of monkeys.
Okay, I’ve stocked up on extra bananas and have promised banana daiquiris for all the monkeys at day’s end should we pull this day off.
It’s long been a staple of meditation practice to focus on or follow your breathing, but recently it occurred to me to wonder how do dead people meditate?
Me: I get how rhyming slang can be fun and all that, but it seems like an unnecessarily convoluted form of self-amusement to me.
Also Me: Right. I’m heading out for a Fozzie!
“I love pumpkin patches!” L’s Mother said yesterday.
She gave me the oddest look when I replied that whatever helps her stop smoking pumpkins is probably a good thing.
Sometimes cake for breakfast isn’t necessarily a bad idea if it reminds you that cake for breakfast isn’t necessarily a good idea either.
This morning I read someone saying that something was as impossible as “uninstalling chess on a Mac,” which is apparently a thing.
But I was bleary-eyed when I was reading, so I first read it as impossible as “uninstalling cheese on a Mac.”
Candles & Curses 