Posts Tagged ‘Snark’

I Still Think It Though

September 13, 2021

Recently L’s Mother has started to doodle little icons to represent various special days on the calendar. These doodles have proven to be . . . challenging to me, both in interpreting them and in keeping my mouth shut while attempting said interpretation.

Now, I don’t mind going for a joke, but some jokes, like asking if the doodle intended to represent International Chocolate Day is supposed to represent “Clean Up After Your Dog Day” is joke fruit hanging just a little too low for my tastes.

My Other Morning Thought From Yesterday

August 27, 2021

Hmmmmm . . . from the sound of it, either there’s a leak somewhere in my roof, or a little gnome carpenter is working on my ceiling in the rain.

And That Would Be One Of Them

August 25, 2021

“I just finished up a few rounds of bellows breath,” L’s Mother told me yesterday. “Not to be confused with Mister Bellows’ breath, of course,” she added with a grin.

Now friends and neighbors, there are few things sadder than dropping a reference some fifty odd years out of date and expecting someone else to get it, but sadder things do exist.

“It’s Doctor Bellows‘ breath,” I corrected her.

Leave It Under The Tree For A Week And It Starts To Turn Into Foliage

August 23, 2021

It’s not like I’m unfamiliar with how quickly Nature can reclaim something. For instance, I saw what happened to my grandparent’s house after it became abandoned (or more accurately, I didn’t see it thanks to all the trees), but I’m frankly amazed at how much Nature seems to want to reclaim my car.

I Didn’t Look For Any Signs Of “Or Else,” But I Wouldn’t Be Surprised If They Were There

August 20, 2021

Another product of my taking more frequent walks is that I’m starting to become conversant in “the language of fences.” (It’s like the language of flowers, just less interesting . . . and with fences.)

For instance, a chain-link fence says, “We value our view,” while a standard six-foot tall fence says, “We value our privacy,” and an eight-foot tall fence with motion sensing lights says, “Go. Away.”

A Window Into L’s Mother’s Mind

August 16, 2021

“I’m going to get some things from the grocery store,” L’s mother announced this morning.

“If you get another cake, I’m divorcing you,” I told her. (This seemed like a reasonable thing to joke about since threating violence over a cake seemed like too much to me.) “But don’t worry,” I added. “It’s not like I’ll move out or anything.”

“The funny thing is,” she chuckled, “my first thought was, ‘It’s going to be hard to pay for your insurance if you’re not my spouse . . .'”

There Are More Positive Ways To Phrase This, But Not More Heartfelt

August 11, 2021

Well . . . it looks like it’s time to increase my coping skills again since it’s not like things are getting less annoying.

What I Keep Expecting To Hear In Response

August 10, 2021
Unconditional no.  Unconditional no.  I do wish you well I want you to know.
I respect your conditions, but I must confess, what I'm looking for is unconditional yes.

What I Hear Every Time I Hear A Musical Number Involving “First You Have To Get Me A Ring”

August 9, 2021
Conditional no, conditional no.  I have my standards, and everyone knows.
Yes, I want to do it, but not just yet, and here are my conditions so you don't forget.

Thoughts On Yet Another Rainy Afternoon

July 28, 2021

At this point I’d even put up with some fair-weather friends just to experience some fair weather . . .