Posts Tagged ‘Snark’

See What I Did There?

June 29, 2022

Now I’ve got a pretty good idea what some people out there are thinking about what I wrote yesterday, and it goes along the lines of, “Oh come on, it’s not that big a deal!”

To which I respond, “Are you saying I shouldn’t ‘be a baby’ about it then?”

And The Fact That This Has Never Happened Doesn’t Seem To Deter Her

June 24, 2022

Sometimes I wonder why my dog is just staring at me.

I suspect she doesn’t want to miss it in case I spontaneously decide to give her an extra meal.

“The Moon . . . Really? Huh.”

June 16, 2022

I’m in no way saying that I’m a believer in reincarnation, but if reincarnation is a thing, I have to believe that I was done with this planet right up until the point I asked, “They landed where now?”

I Just Wish They Were Less Noisy And Didn’t Make Such A Mess

June 10, 2022

While contemplating a family of Canada Geese that has taken up occasional residence in our yard, L’s Mother commented, “I know they may be considered an invasive species(1), but I kind of like them.”

That was the moment I realized that I feel the same way about humans.

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(1) They’re not, but Muscovy Ducks are, so it was a reasonable guess.

A Thought I Legitimately Had While Doing Some Home Repair Today

June 7, 2022

I don’t know who tightened this, but I’m willing to bet their last name was Banner or Walters . . . possibly Ross.

Because I Learn From My Mistakes

June 2, 2022

“My eye is a little red today,” L’s Mother announced a few days back.

Then I noticed she was wearing a red top.

I like what you’re wearing,” I told her.

That’s True Love Right There

May 23, 2022

This morning L’s Mother looked at the breakfast I had worked hard to prepare for myself, and she expressed a temptation to steal it even though it wasn’t on her diet.

And I looked at her, and at that moment I realized *I* was tempted to not kill her if she tried.

I Think That’s Why We All Avoid Brain Scans Whenever Possible

May 17, 2022

After posting what I posted yesterday, I received a message saying, essentially, “I know somebody like that . . . and so do you!”

Yes, I went for the obvious joke of saying that telling me that I know them too “doesn’t exactly narrow it down,” but here’s the thing . . .

In all seriousness, I know way too many people that if they got a brain scan showing something unusual, I just couldn’t be surprised.

Assuming You’re Doing It Right

May 13, 2022

Last night one of those “Piracy is NOT a victimless crime!” notices popped up before the start of a (legally purchased) movie I was about to watch with L’s Mother.

“Not if you do it right!” I observed.

Laughing, she replied, “That’s awful!”

“Hey!” I protested. “Even if you’re the most gentle and genteel pirate on the seas, by definition, somebody is getting robbed!”

And Beyond

May 9, 2022

I remain perpetually astonished by some people’s dedication to leading their country, even our very world, boldly into the nineteenth century.