Arguing With Inanimate Objects . . . And Losing

“Listen, car, I know you think my passenger isn’t wearing their seatbelt right now, but it’s not a passenger, it’s just heavy and truly doesn’t need a seatbelt.”

A little while later . . .

“We’ve covered this before, it’s just a big leaf!”

Usually, It’s Seven

Today is one of those days I feel like I’m being pulled in three different directions at once.

This is a good thing.

I’ve NO Idea What I’m Going To Post Tomorrow Though

In honor of Thanksgiving, L’s Mother asked me to go seventy-two hours without sharing anything even remotely negative no matter how interesting or funny, so . . .

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Standards For Posting Here, I Mean, Not Personally, Obviously

Well . . . according to my son it’s official. I now have my “good morning mug” (filled with tea), my “not a good morning mug,” and my “terrible morning mug” (a novelty mug with a snarky secret I can’t share here because I have standards).

Below That Age You MIGHT Have Some Difficulty Figuring It Out

“Did you mean to leave your coffee maker on?” I asked L’s Mother this morning because one time out of the hundred or so times I’ve asked her, the answer was yes.

“No,” came her expected answer, so I dutifully turned the machine off yet again.

Knowing full well the strain she keeps accidently putting the poor device under (the coffee machine, not me), she later facetiously wondered aloud why the coffee maker seemed to be burning out faster than normal.

“It’s a mystery for the ages,” I replied. “Ages six and up, that is.”

That Sums Up My Feelings On The Matter

The funniest headline I read today was, “It’s the end the world (again).”

And Most Of The Time Is Generally Enough

If you really don’t believe in the power of self-fulfilling prophecy, try going up to someone and telling them, “You’re going to find me annoying,” over . . . and over . . . and over.

Will it work every time? No . . . just most of the time.

W.H.Y.? J.U.S.T. . . . W.H.Y.?

Sometimes I feel like way too much time is spent on people coming up with cutesy acronyms for projects, particularly space projects. As far as I’m concerned, just give it a good mythological reference and call it a day, like Veritas. It’s short, sweet, to the point and yet still evokes a feeling of grandeur that . . .

What’s that? It’s not Veritas . . . it’s VERITAS? As in “Venus Emissivity, Radio Science, InSAR, Topography, and Spectroscopy.”

R.E.A.L.L.Y.?

I Just Want To Know How Does It KNOW?!

The “Do Not Disturb” sign on my office door is one of the most remarkable items in the history of humanity. When I flip it purposefully to “Do Not Disturb” it fades to transparency almost instantly, but should I accidently flip it, it will repel important information for hours!

At Least I Haven’t Reached The Point Where I SAY It

I know this is unkind of me, but I’ve reached the point when I’m out in public I find myself thinking, “Oh, you’re taking a selfie, huh? How . . . quaint.”