Posts Tagged ‘Snark’

The Latest Window Into My Dreams

October 8, 2019

My Dream Guide:  And this is the end of your dream vision.  I hope you found it enlightening.

Me:  A little, I suppose.  That wasn’t much of a dream vision.

My Dream Guide:  (shrugging)  What do you want for a dollar?

Me:  I didn’t give you a dollar.  I don’t even have a dollar on me.

My Dream Guide:  Of course you don’t, you gave it to me.

Me:  No I didn’t!  Show me this dollar!

My Dream Guide:  Hey, I’m the dream guide here; I don’t have to show you anything!

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I Can Forgive The Lack Of Fire And Smoke, But Not That

September 24, 2019

So we survived another Disney trip last week.  (Odd timing, I know, but that was the time Mom was available to meet us there.)  All in all it was a good trip, with my biggest complaint being that while I know it was supposed to be “not so scary,” the Headless Horseman’s horse shouldn’t prance under any circumstances!

I Don’t Start Considering Other People’s Opinions Until After I Wake Up

September 17, 2019

Today L’s Mother and I were enjoying a much needed day off style morning on the back porch when she said, “Oh, no!  I’m out here in my pajamas!”  Grinning, she added, “What would the neighbors think?”

“First they’d have to,” I snorted.

Inspired By My Old High School Making The News (In A Bad Way)

September 13, 2019

Guys . . . being an idiot is bad enough; for the love of all that’s holy, stop recording yourselves being idiots!

But Since It Wouldn’t Stop Me, I Never Do

September 10, 2019

Today I spent some time poking around on some of the earlier entries I’d written on this site.

Let the record reflect that, yes, sometimes I’m so glib that even briefly consider punching myself in the face.

So Now I’ve Got A Pretty Good Idea What They Were Singing

August 30, 2019

And because I need one, on an even lighter note, yesterday in a fit of nostalgia I listened to “Li’l Red Riding Hood,” and was amused when someone commented they remembered hearing a group of kids singing a very raunchy variation of the song.  For a moment I wondered how they could have made it raunchy, much less “very” raunchy, then I listened with fresh ears to some of the lyrics again:

“What big eyes you have.  The kind of eyes that drives wolves mad,” and “What a big heart I have.  The better to love you with,” particularly stood out.

And It’ll Discourage Us From Throwing Stones

August 29, 2019

Recently I ordered three huge bottles of a hot barbecue sauce that I like, and I was feeling pretty pleased with myself having them stocked in the cabinet, but today another three bottles arrived.  Checking the records, it certainly appeared that they had been ordered, just not by me, so I asked L’s Mother if she knew anything about this.

“They were still in the cart when it was time to place my order, so I went ahead and ordered them just to be on the safe side,” she told me.

“Fortunately they keep,” I replied.

“And now we have storm supplies,” she added.

“Yes,” I had to agree.  “If it gets bad we can build a shelter out of the bottles to hide behind.”

Now If It Would Only Storm Off

August 28, 2019

Yesterday’s Assessment of Dorian Based On Yesterday’s Information:  Yeah, it might hit the Florida coast as a hurricane, but it was already projected to hit with around 70 M.P.H. winds, so we’re probably not talking much of a difference.

Today’s Assessment:  We seem to have angered it.

I Like To Keep Abreast Of Things Like This

August 26, 2019

Augmented reality is an interesting concept, and to think we owe it all to silicon.

And The Longer They’ve Talked To You, The Easier It Is To Tell

August 22, 2019

An easy way to tell if someone is there to talk at you, not with you, is as soon as you get a chance to say something, they suddenly remember they need to be elsewhere.