Posts Tagged ‘Snark’

So That’s Why I Decided To Share This Tale

May 27, 2021

I feel like yesterday’s post deserves the full story, so here it is:

Two hours after placing an order, I learned that the delivery needed to be rescheduled if at all possible (It wouldn’t be a tragedy if it wasn’t), so I asked what could be done. I was told that since the order had already been processed, they’d have to coordinate with the shipper, but it should be possible. I thanked them for anything they could do, and moved on.

The “manage your expectations” e-mail was how I was informed (by a different customer service rep) that the delivery had been successfully rescheduled.

Now it should be understood that this company specializes in gifts for special occasions, and feelings tend to run high among customers when it comes to gifts and delivery dates. As such I could easily laugh this response off as nothing more than an unfortunate bit of frustration breaching though someone’s professionalism, but I couldn’t help but picturing just how . . . poorly that turn of phrase could have been received by someone else.

Guess Which One I Got Recently

May 26, 2021

The right way to say this to me: Unfortunately, some delays are out of our control, and we hope for your understanding should that occur.

The wrong way to say this to me: We highly suggest that you manage your expectations in case of any delay.

Dog Logic

May 24, 2021

If the dog didn’t bark, you didn’t knock. Q.E.D.

The Mix Seemed To Be One Part Brilliance To Nine Parts Balderdash

May 21, 2021

Though I can come across as an overly negative person at times, the truth of the matter is a little more complex. Yes, the better something is the more likely I am to look for a negative, but the worse something is the more likely I am to look for a positive. Truthfully, I think this is primarily my contrary nature manifesting, and not any warped concept of “balance,” per se.

Regardless, case in point:

Yesterday I read the latest publication for a setting I absolutely love, and my unfiltered reaction to it was, “Huh . . . they have some good ideas in here for people who have completely missed the point of this setting.”

May That Be The ONLY Credit It EVER Gets From This House

May 18, 2021

Particularly after yesterday’s post, lest you think that L’s Mother can’t hold her own, right after I walked out the room she gave the most theatrical heartbreaking sniffle I have ever heard.

“That was really good!” I told her as I walked back into the room.

“I know, right?” she agreed. “Allergy season deserves a lot of the credit though.”

I Then Promptly Returned And Said, “But You Were Saying?”

May 17, 2021

“Now this won’t be of any interest to you whatsoever . . .” L’s Mother foolishly used as a lead-in with me early this morning.

So of course I interrupted her with, “You’re right,” and walked out of the room.

Because Shouldn’t I Be Wiser By Now?

May 11, 2021

I thought about including this in yesterday’s post on perspectives of wisdom, but I felt that it disrupted the flow, so I’m adding it today as a follow-up:

An atypical elder’s perspective: Sometimes I wonder if *I* am an exception . . .

Perhaps I Should Have Been More Specific

May 7, 2021

First thought: There sure are a lot of things I keep putting off around here, not because they’re difficult or even time consuming, but just because they’re annoying.

Second thought: I should set myself a task of every day taking care of one annoying thing around here.

Third thought: Yeah, right, like cutting back to only one a day is the way to move forward on this.

If It Were That Easy, Everyone Would Do It

May 6, 2021

I feel like after yesterday’s post that I should add that you can change the course of a river . . . but not by shouting at it.

Who Ya Gonna Call For Something Like That?

May 3, 2021

My new end of life goal is to be the guy contemplating a gravestone in a graveyard at midnight so that when somebody asks me what I’m doing I can sigh and say, “I just can’t get over how they spelled my name wrong.”