Posts Tagged ‘Social Mores’

Inspired By My Old High School Making The News (In A Bad Way)

September 13, 2019

Guys . . . being an idiot is bad enough; for the love of all that’s holy, stop recording yourselves being idiots!

A Habit That Has Nothing To Do With My Star Sign, But Admittedly Might Have Something To Do With The Year Of My Birth

April 26, 2019

“You’re an Earth star sign, aren’t you?” I was asked via a text conversation yesterday.

While I was privately unimpressed at both the apparent non sequitur and the fact that I knew I was going to be expected to be impressed at what was at worst a one in four chance guess, I still wrote back, “Yes, you’re right.”

“I knew it!  I can tell by how you end your sentences with all those dots  Most Earth signs do that”  (There’s a clue for what’s to come in the previous quote, by the way.)

Now it’s true that at one point in my life I had what might kindly be described as an . . . ellipsis problem, but I knew for a fact that I hadn’t ended any sentences with ellipsis during this conversation, so, more than a little confused I replied, “I don’t know why you’re seeing a lot of dots at the ends of my sentences.  Maybe it’s a formatting issue or something because I’m not typing a lot of dots.”

“It’s not a lot of dots” came the reply.  “Just unnecessary ones”  (Do you see it yet?  This is the point I did.)

With a heartfelt sigh and an eyeroll I responded, “Periods.  They’re called periods, and some people still use them out of habit, you know.”

Overheard During The Day’s Excursion

April 12, 2019

“I know you said that it’s rude to bring outside food into this restaurant, but I asked the lady over there and she said it was okay.”

“Because that’s what polite people say to rude people who ask if it’s okay that they’re being rude.”

It’s Still Basically As Bad As Doing It With A Phone; It’s The Novelty That Made Me Smile

November 29, 2016

The other day I was trying to get into a restaurant . . . and I don’t mean it was one of those fancy places that prides itself on its exclusivity, I mean I was just trying to reach the door, but there was a kid blocking the walkway.  His family was already at the door and telling him to hurry up, but he was meandering in that distinctive “I’m ignoring everything else because I’m paying attention to something in my hands” fashion that these days usually means “I’m looking at my phone.”

Since society justly frowns upon adults pushing children to the pavement just because they’re in the way, I reminded myself of what lesson I would want to teach my son in this situation, and did my best to be patient.

Eventually we all reached the door where the father shot me an apologetic look and muttered a quick “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I chuckled, in a good mood now that I’d gotten a closer look at the situation.  “I’m just happy he’s got a book in his hands!”

When Worlds Collide

October 26, 2016

Me:  I don’ t understand it when I see girls wearing short skirts paired with heavy leggings.

Lala:  Sometimes it’s too cold to wear a skirt without leggings.

Me:  Then isn’t it too cold to wear a skirt then?

Lala:  (Long pause)  Whaaaaaat?

Finally Found One

July 30, 2013

Apologies for moving into a stand-up comedy trope area here, but I really have shaken my head for years whenever I’ve seen a group of girls prancing off together in the direction of the bathroom.  I’ve heard the jokes(1), as well as the real reasons (2), but I still find the practice more than a little weird.  I can honestly say that it was only last week that I admitted that I was at a loss to come up with any situation where I would look at another guy and say, “Come on, we’re heading to the bathroom.”(3)

Then over the weekend, after watching a movie in the theater, a group of us were standing around talking about the movie.  I think all of us knew this little post-movie chat was just a brief interlude before making the traditional post-movie exodus to the bathroom, but for one member of our group in particular, it was clear to me the interlude wasn’t brief enough for his tastes.  Still, he dutifully involved himself in the conversation as he did his best to guide the group in the direction of his increasingly required destination.  But groups can be obstinate things, and to complicate matters, he was interested enough in the conversation that he kept getting drawn back in.

Realizing this couldn’t go on much longer, finally, I looked him in the eye and said, “Come on, we’re heading to the bathroom,” and peeled off from the rest of the group.

Halfway there, I realized what I had just said, stopped and then exulted, “So there is a situation I will head to the bathroom with another guy!”

The theater has asked me never to return.(4)

******

(1)  My favorite involves overstuffed divans and big screen televisions.

(2)  I asked.  Funny how often that works.(7)

(3)  Yes, I know some other guys can easily think of a few, but this affects me not.

(4)  I’m kidding about this, by the way.  I’ve been offered free tickets should I return, in fact, which I find more worrisome.(5)

(5)  I’m not kidding about this.(6)

(6)  Blatantly misstating and misrepresenting the reason behind the offer, but not kidding.

(7)  And yes, I have been threatened with retribution should I ever reveal the “secrets.”