At Least The Only Lasting Harm Was To My Bumper

One of the advantages of perspective is it gives you the opportunity to realize that not every stupid thing you’ve done was actually “stupid.” For instance, once I managed to wedge my back bumper over a concrete pylon that was invisible to me from the driver’s seat as I tried to maneuver my vehicle around and out of a narrow road that had been unexpectedly blocked off. While I felt especially stupid at the time, I had no visibility and truly was being as careful as I possibly could. The pylon just happened to be the perfect height for me to back over it seamlessly right before the incline shifted just enough to link the bumper and pylon like they were Legos. It was such an improbably perfect fit that even looking right at it once I got out of the vehicle, it took me a while to see it and figure out what had happened.

I’m a little less sure if my gunning the engine and rocking the vehicle until enough of both the pylon and the bumper shifted enough for me to get free was the best solution, but it was the fastest.

Today’s Advice For My Son

Don’t ever believe it when you are told that stupidity is incurable, son. Stupidity can be cured, it’s just that the cure has to be self-administered.

And Risk Without Reason Is Always Stupid

There are times in life when one must absolutely brave the storm, but you must equally absolutely avoid “stupiding the storm.”

I Shall Dub This “Alan’s Whetstone”

With all due respect to Hanlon’s Razor, after years of self-debate, I have finally concluded the Information Age requires me to add an addendum:

When online, however, never attribute to stupidity that which is adequately explained by trolling.

They Can’t Be THAT Stupid . . . Can They?

It’s reached the point where I have seen politicians and political candidates do such obviously stupid things that there almost has to be an ulterior motive behind these actions, but how does one determine where incompetence ends and the Illuminati begins?

Dear Eyes, That’s Not Your Department – Love, Ears

It’s funny how we think sometimes, which is why it’s important to be self-aware enough to recognize when the thought you just had was . . . inane.  Today, for instance, I watched a jaw-dropping vocal performance from an unassuming looking man, and my first thought was, “Wow.  He doesn’t look like somebody who could sing!”

At Least I’m Not Proud Of That

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.

– Edith Sitwell

(Found this while looking for a quote about patience since my wrist still hurts a bit, and I was starting to get impatient about that . . . which is a little bit stupid when you think about it.)

I Love A Razor With A History

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

– Hanlon’s Razor