Posts Tagged ‘Warnings’

My Indulgence In Cynicism For The Week

May 15, 2020

Narrator:  Mr. Goldsmith, survivor, an eye witness to man’s imperfection, an observer of the very human trait of greed, and a chronicler of the last chapter – the one reading ‘suicide.’ Not a prediction of what is to be, just a projection of what could be. This has been the Twilight Zone.

– The Twilight Zone, “The Old Man in the Cave”

I Say This As Somebody Who’s Been “Somebody” Around Here For Some Time Now

October 18, 2019

To all the people who want to be “somebody” someday, do keep in mind the warning contained in the phrase “It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.”

Some Things You Have To Learn Directly

May 22, 2018

The other day I did something I almost never do anymore, namely, pass on a warning to someone I thought needed to hear one.  The result?  I was politely thanked for my concern (which is a tad unusual, I’ll admit . . . the thanks and the concern, come to think) and profoundly ignored (which is the norm).

This is known as the Cassandra effect.

This used to frustrate me to no end, but these days I can see the morbidly funny side of it, because there was a time I probably would have ignored it too had I been in their place.

My Next Thought Was “Whoa!” (And I’m Happy To Say That I Didn’t Need The Bag)

March 7, 2018

You know how enough overly cautious speed limits on curves can lull you into a false sense of security so that it’s a nasty surprise when you hit a curve where even an iota over the posted speed can give you that sliding off the road sensation?

A while back at a theme park I endured warning after warning for rides that wouldn’t have given even L’s Grandmother (a notorious lightweight when it comes to ride tolerance) a flutter, so it’s understandable (if unwise) that when I was told an upcoming ride would be “intense,” my first thought was “Yeah, yeah.”

Then as the ride started I saw the provided barf bags . . .

Today’s Unfriendly Warning

October 20, 2017

It’s always risky opening a shut door when you know someone is working on the other side, but it gets even riskier to do so after someone has said “I need some time to figure out what I’m going to write today.”  The risk factor goes off the chart, however, if after that you open the door anyway and say, “Oh!  I see you’re not working at all right now!”

If you ever do this, just run, and do not attempt to initiate conversation in any way whatsoever!  Close family members and children will probably survive this encounter, albeit not necessarily completely unscathed; there is precisely zero guarantee of anyone else being so fortunate.

Yeah . . .

March 20, 2013

I was once told (with an unknown degree of seriousness) that an easy way to double or even triple your life expectancy was to never climb up a ladder onto the roof of a house.

Guess what’s on my to-do list for today.

I can’t help but feel, however, that the Universe is trying in its usual, not so subtle way, to remind me to be careful.  Out of the blue, a nephew of mine (unaware of my roof related plans for today) picked today to mention in passing the only Bible quote to my knowledge that deals with people falling off a roof and dying.  (Deuteronomy 22:8, for you scholars out there; no link so you can better pick your favorite translation, but the message is pretty clear in all of them.)

Maybe I don’t actually need to get on the roof today . . .


Yesterday I Found A BBQ Grill With A Warning That Grill Would Be Hot While In Use

October 2, 2012

“It seemed to me,” said Wonko the Sane, “that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.”

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish  by Douglas Adams