I’ve stated before the reasons behind my reluctance to talk about the weather these days, so I winced when yesterday I heard L’s Mother telling one of her sisters how warm it is here. To L’s Mother’s credit, she did add that at the moment the pollen is so thick that it’s practically impossible to breathe right now.
Her sister’s retort was simply, “We got 25 inches of snow this year.”
This is the time of year when South Florida is particularly prone to temperature fluctuation, with the air conditioner needed one day, the heater the next, and so on. Suffice it to say that maintaining a comfortable household temperature for multiple people (a challenge under the best of circumstances) can quickly become an ordeal.
It’s an ordeal that I am especially bored of at this point.
Which is why when L’s Mother announced out of the blue that she was “a warm,” my only response was that I was “aware.”
I’m always quick to admit that I love South Florida’s weather, especially this time of year. As today’s cold weather advisory reminded me, there was a time I enjoyed playfully teasing friends who lived in colder climates along the lines that our “cold weather advisory” is their “warm weather advisory.”
I don’t do that anymore since the day someone (however facetiously) wished death upon me and my family during a particularly unpleasant northern winter.
Today (since it’s not raining at the moment), I thought I’d show you what I was talking about:
I don’t usually talk about the weather unless it involves hurricane level storms or the like, but lately it’s rained here so much that it looks like the trees in my backyard have been doing a slow, dignified suicide march into the water.
You know the weather has changed around here when they issue the “falling iguana” warning.
There’s nothing worse for me in the world than to be wet.
– Spoken by someone who presumably has never been on fire.
“It sure is a nice day,” Lala said this morning. “It just needs to be a little cooler.”
“Or what?” I asked.
She looked at me askance before asking, “What do you mean ‘or what?'”
“I mean you sound like the weather mafia when you say it like that,” I explained before affecting an outrageously bad “wise guy” accent. “Sure is a nice day we’ve got here; needs to be a little cooler though. Be a shame if something . . . happened to a day as nice as this just because it didn’t want to be a little more . . . cooperative.”
